Is It Fear or Intuition? How to Tell the Difference and Begin to Hear (and Trust) Your Inner Voice
A woman’s intuition is powerful. Undeniable. Freeing. Sacred.
Unfortunately, Western-socialized women aren’t taught how to hear or trust their inner voice. In fact, many of us are conditioned to believe that our deepest knowings and desires are to be squashed, oppressed, and ignored. We are consumed with roles, responsibilities, and distractions that keep us from truly connecting with that core Self who knows what is best in all situations. But when we are at a major crossroads - a possible career change, a relationship heading towards the end, a potential move to a new city or state - the best thing a woman can do is tap into her intuition. Seek her inner voice relentlessly. Learn to trust the deepest knowings of her true self. The tricky part, however, is discerning the difference between fear and intuition; we mistake the alarm bells of panic to be the compass of wise inner guidance. But not anymore.
The Language of Fear Vs. Intuition
If you’re reading this, you likely have a decision you are grappling with. Maybe you’ve been sensing an “offness” in an area of your life that feels unsettling. For the purpose of this article, let’s use the example of a woman who deep down, knows her relationship has run its course, and she is starting to contemplate ending it. Other examples could be:
Debating leaving a job,
Considering moving to a new city,
Contemplating starting a family,
Considering going back to school,
Questioning the idea of exploring your sexuality.
Use your scenario in all of the examples and journal prompts - these are meant to help you find clarity and inspire aligned action.
Before we return to the relationship debate example, let’s define the difference between fear and intuition in the setting of decision making:
Fear is loud, urgent, and panicked - like an alarm bell or fire drill.
Intuition is quiet, subtle, and calm - like a whisper or a compass needle.
Fear says, “Oh no - you can’t leave that relationship. He would never forgive you! What would your friends say? What about the children?! Oh gosh, the poor children. They would hate you forever. They would suffer. No way. You just can’t. You have to stay. Staying is safer.”
Intuition says, “This relationship isn’t right. I know I can no longer give more of myself to make it work. I trust my ability to love my kids well through this. Staying is hard, leaving is hard; leaving is the hard that I know is right for me.”
Neuroscientists have studied the difference between where fear and intuition show up in the brain. Researchers found that fear is tied to the amygdala (fight-flight-freeze) while intuition involves implicit learning and subconscious pattern recognition (Gigerenzer, 2007). In other words, fear is a nervous system response, while intuition comes from wisdom and lived experience.
Journal Prompts
One. Write a letter to yourself - from “fear,” immediately followed by a letter from your “inner knowing.” Reflect on the differences in your mind, body, and spirit as you wrote the letters.
Two. Write about a whisper you ignored that ended up being an intuitive signal - what would have changed if you had listened?
How It Feels in the Body
Fear and intuition “feel” very different in our bodies":
Fear feels like constriction, oppression, being trapped, scattered energy.
Intuition feels like expansiveness, warmth, calm, groundedness.
Some people describe feeling fear in their mind or chest (racing, racing heart, scattered thoughts, confusion), while they feel intuition in their core or gut (a calm knowing, a gentle nudge, an anchor).
The tricky part about discerning between fear and intuition is that fear is always louder and more consuming. The anxieties that come with fearful thoughts will always overpower the groundedness that intuition provides if you are not intentional about listening for your inner voice. Stillness, meditation, journaling, or simply taking a few moments to “drop below the chin” (get out of your head) are necessary if you are to learn to hear and get to know your inner voice.
Journal Prompts
One. Write about the physical sensations you feel as you allow fear to step in. Reflect on where you most strongly feel fear and anxiety.
Two. Write about what groundedness looks and feels like to you. For example, an anchor in a wavy sea, the eye of a hurricane, etc. What images resonate with you and can help you stay grounded when feeling overwhelmed?
Timing & Urgency
Studies on decision-making show that intuitive insights persist, while fear-based impulses fluctuate with stress and mood (Dane & Pratt, 2007).
Fear often demands urgent reactions and actions, leading to impulsive decisions.
Intuition offers patient guidance and is consistent over time, repeating itself.
A woman debating divorce might hear fear say, “You’ll ruin your kids’ lives!” so she stays in an unfulfilling marriage for months or years, while intuition gently repeats throughout that time, “You’ll be more yourself—and that’s the gift your kids need.”
Journal Prompts
One. Write about a recent time when you rushed into a decision from a place of fear; what was the outcome of that decision? What might have intuition said instead?
Two. Write about an intuitive nudge you’ve had in the past. Looking back, how did it show up? How did it change or evolve until you listened?
Rooted in Expansion vs. Avoidance
A dysregulated nervous system cares about safety above all, while a grounded one allows space for creativity, possibility, and evolution.
Fear is rooted in avoiding danger and pain - no matter the cost.
Intuition is rooted in expansion, alignment, and growth - even if it feels uncomfortable.
Fear builds walls; intuition opens doors. A woman who knows her relationship is over but is choosing to stay out of fear will feel trapped, small, and oppressed. A woman who takes bold, aligned action (despite discomfort and uncertainty of the future) will feel a deep sense of expansiveness, lightness, and freedom.
Journal Prompts
One. Write about a choice you made to stay safe or avoid pain — how did that decision limit your growth?
Two. Write about a moment when your inner voice invited you to expand, even though it was uncomfortable—what became possible because you said yes?
Learn to Distinguish Fear vs. Intuition
You may already have a sense of where you are letting fear hijack your nervous system and overpower intuition. But listening to — and then trusting — your inner voice requires experience, reflection, and repetition. Here are a few ways to regularly tap into your intuition and learn to trust it as you take bold, aligned actions down the path you know is right for you. Learning to hear intuition is like tuning a radio—at first it’s static, but with practice you find the clear frequency.
Pause + breathe. Fear thrives in urgency; intuition appears in stillness.
Journaling prompts. Written reflection forces you to slow your mind and let the whispers of your soul talk.
Body scan. Notice sensations — tightness vs. calm, chaotic vs. grounded, restricted vs. expansive.
Time test. Keep track of the “nudges” over time — is it still there after a week? Month? Year?
Small experiments. Start by trusting your intuition in nonconsequential things (what to eat, when to rest, what activity to do) and deepen your connection with your true self.
Trust Your Compass
Distinguishing fear from intuition isn’t always simple—especially when the choices you make ripple into the lives of those you love. But here’s the truth: your intuition is not just a quiet nudge, it’s your superpower. When we silence it, the cost shows up everywhere—our health, our relationships, our careers, and our sense of self.
Let’s refuse to live unaligned lives. Let’s be women who listen deeply, trust fiercely, and act boldly—unapologetic in our pursuit of what feels true and right.
Your call to action: Starting today, choose one small decision to make from a place of intuition rather than fear. Write it down, commit to it, and follow through. The more you practice, the louder and clearer your inner voice becomes.
